The Random Blogger

Wow, it feels awkward to come back to this blog after a year of hiatus. So many things have changed since my last post. From COVID-19 to my personal life, 2020 was chaotic with some fun, anxiety, and growth bundled into a package.  The Concert I started the year being very enthusiastic as I was looking forward to an Autism concert and fundraising that we have been working very hard towards since the end of 2019. It was quite stressful as we handled everything ourselves without any event company involved: from making multiple trips to various bodies and venue, I was at the brink of exhaustion on top of my regular job. It doesn't help that I was having lots of fights and disagreements with J. However, I managed to keep my morale and spirit high by reminding myself of the main purpose of the event: To increase Autism awareness and acceptance, showcase their talents to the public, and also fundraising for an Autism organization. Despite the rocky journey, we were excited for the event,

Being quarantined at home for the past 3 days is quite an experience. It's been a LONG while since I'm able to catch up on my favorite Korean variety shows and documentaries. Suddenly, it has dawned upon me that I have not completed a single book this year. Yes, what a shame for a so-called "bookworm". LOL, at this point, I think I'm more like an "Online Articles" worm. Truthfully, this book has traveled with me to several countries but I never brought myself to complete the entire book. Hence, completing this book within one day felt amazing. I suddenly felt a renewed sense of joy in reading physical books after so long. Also, reading this book now falls at the perfect juncture in my life: Finding my OWN identity (apart from my family or work), Learning to obey God and know his will in my life, juggling with my unique responsibilities, and learning to give back to the society. Judging from the cover, I perceived that this is just another success sto

Went back to work yesterday assuming that I've completely recovered. Man...how wrong was I. Despite being all covered up like a dumpling with a face mask on, the air cond in my office is really unbearable. I could feel within me that my body is trying its best to function and fight on. It sounds like an exaggeration, but when you are sick, everything you do takes extra effort. Also, I rarely fell ill, but when I do, I fall hard (lols...pun intended).  Had my dinner really late...like 9pm? and it took me 1 hour to finally reach home. I was doing my usual prayer in the car yesterday but I broke down so bad, just crying out to God. Perhaps, being ill and vulnerable allowed my negative thoughts to seep back in. I lamented that I'm really tired of being strong. Honestly, there is not one area in my life where I could seek refuge and rest BUT God calmly reminded he's watching out for me and I can seek rest within him.  Last night was terrible. My throat was hurting like CR

Ended my October with a pounding headache, aching body, and fever. Man, I don't remember when was the last time I fell this ill. Well, at least I have a good opportunity to catch up on my reading and devotion. I detest being sick as I felt one day is wasted doing nothing. However, today serves as a reminder to pay more attention to my own health and body. Work is important, but without a healthy body and mind, your productivity will definitely be affected. Wishing myself a speedy recovery so that I can bounce back and do a better job at work and life.

During lunch today, I saw a family of 3 (Dad, mom, and their daughter) happily chatting, eating, and taking selfies. That scene warms my heart and the child is so adorable because she's super talkative (like yours truly when I was much younger). Suddenly, two thoughts crossed my mind. Am I reminiscing the carefree days I enjoyed with my family? Or should I be married and have a child by now?  However, before I arrived at an answer, my delicious plate of chicken rice came and I was instantly distracted by the aroma. Mmmm, let me finish this first okay?

I used to write poems so freely, I used to play music with so much enjoyment, I used to draw fearlessly, I used to dance like nobody's watching, I used to sing like the birds in the sky, not caring about anything in the world. But what happened? Honestly, it has been years since I struggled with 'artist block'. I'm still not sure how I'm going to overcome this. Creating used to be my life and soul. But I'm losing touch with this Artistic soul. I'm still finding the pieces. Perhaps life got the better of me. I'm busy helping others to achieve their dreams. I'm happy, I truly am. But internally, I do feel slightly empty. Deep down, I feel the artist in me is slowly disappearing. God, please teach me to overcome this. I want to be able to create all over again. Without reservations, fears, and judgments. Or perhaps, this is not my calling. Dear Lord, please guide me. Amen.